The right to defend yourself against the government

by Saul Bloodworth

About the Gates-controversy: Here is one thing I don‘t understand. According to Republican (or generally conservative) beliefs, people should bear arms to keep intruders out of their homes, they should use them, and they should specifically be entitled to get the government out of their hair, especially an overbearing government.

So why is it a big deal or even a bad thing when a private citizen kicks a cop, i.e. the government, out of his house who is in there for no good reason? What do they want, Gates should have shown him a National identification card? They should be applauding him for standing up to an intruding government!

Birth of a Nation

by Saul Bloodworth

Let's assume, just for the sake of the argument, that Obama was born in Kenya, and is not an American citizen, despite his mother being a citizen. How, do the birthers think, did he become a citizen, obtain a social security number and a driver's license?

Because a) you can't take a foreign baby to the United States, just like that. If you are a citizen you can apply for citizenship for your children, parents, and siblings; that's how Mexican-Americans get their family here. This is quite some effort, you need to apply for a Green Card, that takes at least one year, the actual act of getting citizenship takes five years and involves a lot of red tape, no matter what Lou Dobbs says. You can stay here illegal, but you won't raise above the status of an apple picker.

Of course Obama's mother could have smuggled him into the U.S., hidden in a suitcase at JFK (not very likely, also, why would she not have given birth in the U.S. in the first place?). But still, he would not become a citizen just by spending time here, much less obtain a legal SSN, which requires documentation of status. So, how and when did all that happen? Birthers, you prove it: Where is Obama's Green Card?


citizenship

Obama By Birth

by Saul Bloodworth

So, Lou Dobbs, let me explain it one more time. Every, every child born to an American citizen is a citizen by birth, i.e. automatically, regardless whether that child was born in Hawaii, Paris, Kenya, or on Mars.

Here is the deal: If anyone can bring me one, one single example of someone born to American parents abroad who actually had to APPLY for U.S.-citizenship later on, I will pay 1000 bucks. Remember, the condition is applying for citizenship, a process that starts with a HB1 visa or a green card, not asking for a passport to be shipped to some one who is already a citizen. In addition, you get a free copy of "The Cabal".

Battle Of The Divas

by Saul Bloodworth.

Can I come out of the bunker now? Is Brüno over? For weeks you could not step on the streets of New York because a cab carrying a Brüno-sign might run you over, on the net, the same way. I would really like to know what Universal spent to promote that movie. So far, it made $52 million at the box office (domestically). I have a hunch the ads were more than that. Jeff Zucker is probably not very happy right now.

Speaking about shameless advertising, is Huffington Post paid by the Brüno campaign to place all those cute stories about our selfless gay-rights fighter? Because that is the only explanation I can come up with. Even today there is yet another story by some Brit complaining that Americans just don't get Cohen's humor. Here is a piece of advice: If a lot of people don't get it, it's not funny.

Speaking of funny, here is something really hilarious: The headline of The New Yorker Brüno-review: Mein Camp. Here you go.

Brüno

by Saul Bloodworth

Brüno! I have not seen the movie but I strongly feel that I have. Since 1978 - at least that‘s how it feel - am I being bombarded with Brüno-ads, Brüno-reports, stories of Brüno licking Eminem, Brüno befriending Cher, Brüno marrying Angelina Jolie, Brüno talking to LaToya Jackson, Brüno getting screwed by Bernie Madoff (I might have made that one up) and Brüno dropping his pants in front of everybody except his own girlfriend (although I would really, really love to see a segment on Fox News where Bill O‘Reilly drops his pants in the presence of Isla Fisher, but that‘s just me).

I start to suspect that this is the future of journalism - the press getting paid by Hollywood to promote a movie, disguised as news. Then again, I‘m open minded to that as well. Listen, Brüno: I'm willing to post some exiting and made-up Brüno-news on whatever website you desire, if you buy one of my books per posting. You go first.