Waltzing Matilda

by Saul Bloodworth

Here are my two cents about the Obama/New York Post/Dead Chimp controversy: The man responsible for it is Col Allen, the editor in chief of the Post.

So, who is Col Allen? He is an Australian, he used to work at the Daily News in Sydney wher he earned himself the nickname "Col Pot" (for those of you who are younger, that is a reference to Pol Pot, who shares the honor of being the butcher of Cambodia with Henry Kissinger)

Americans have a long history of slavery, Civil War, lynchings, Jim-Crow-laws, Civil Rights movement, end of separation, debate and amends. Australians, not that much. Australians pretty much exterminated the Aborigines, save of some ten thousand survivors, and they don't really care about it. In fact, they are completely untouched by this part of their history (don't let the movie Australia fool you — Hugh Jackman is not real). The chance of an Aborigine becoming Prime Minister of Australia is about as slim as Jar Jar Binks'.

So, Murdoch, an Australian, imports Allen, an Australian, to promote racism in the U.S. of A. The good news is, however, there are obviously not enough home-grown racists any more in America. In any case, that will be an interesting four years.

Hussein

by Saul Bloodworth

Lets talk about the name Barack Hussein Obama. People - well, some people - are making a big deal about the name Hussein. As in: How can someone named like the former biggest enemy of the United States become President? Rightwingers sneer at it, Liberals see it as proof that Americans are not prejudiced. Both is nonsense.

Hussein is simply a very common name in the Arab world. It means "handsome". Its English version is "Alan", which also means handsome.

Speaking of evils names, the first name of Goebbels, Hitler's Propaganda minister, who was arguable more evil than Hitler himself, was Joseph. There are quite a few Josephs, or Joes around in the U.S. — Joe Lieberman, Joe Biden, Joe the Plumber —; (the Arab version is Yusuf) and I don't recall anybody making a big deal out of that.

Also Stalin's first name was Joseph (ok, bad example), and there was, of course Joseph Kennedy. And Mussolini's first name was Benito. I'm fairly sure that an American President who is called Ben would not cause much of an outcry. The first names of the commander of the Nazi Airforce were Heinrich and Wilhelm, so his full name was, really, Henry Bill Goering. Suck on that, O'Reilly!

So it's really not about Obama sharing his name with a deceased dictator, it's about hating a foreign-sounding name. There is a name for that: Xenophobia.

So, dear Liberals, the next time you get bugged by some Know-nothing about the name Hussein, just remind them that Joe the Plumber is named after Joseph Goebbels. And quite rightfully so.

Joe the Bummer

by Saul Bloodworth

So, Joe the Plumber is going to Israel to be a war reporter. A real war reporter talking to real people in the street. Well, at least to people he likes (probably white people). The story must be true because you can't make this up. I'm not sure he has a passport, though, so it might take a while, like, another ten weeks, but that should be worth it. I personally would rather see Mike Delfino go, but you can't choose your plumber.

Anyway, is that bad? Not really. As for missing credentials, Judith Miller had pretty good credentials, she was in Barnard College and Princeton. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I like the idea of having shipped Joe the Plumber off to Israel. Sure, its a little unfair towards the Israelis, but after all we're paying for the whole caboos.

And coming to think of it, why stop with Joe the Plumber? I would love to see Bill Kristol report from some ramshackle hut while Kassan rockets are being fired at him 24/7. Or Ann Coulter. Or Rush Limbaugh. In fact, they should be made share the same hut, and bathroom (I'm thinking Pixie) for the duration of their assignment, i. e. until peace has come to the Holy Land.

I'm sure there is a place for Tom Friedman as well in that hut, or Michelle Malkin or Bill O'Reilly. Maybe they can sleep in shifts. Or Henry Paulson, or Bernie Madoff - I can go on and on, but you get the idea. What happened to Mike Savage, by the way, is he still around? Rupert Murdoch? Rick Santorum?

On the downside, it would probably hasten the apocalypse because not even the Antichrist could bear watching them for too long. Anyway, lets look forward to honest news from the Middle East. Or, at least, some really sweaty newspeople.

Narratives

by Saul Bloodworth

I can't quite follow the outrage about the fake Holocaust memoir written by Herman Rosenblat (or his ghostwriter). So yes, he fabricated the part of the story that got him the book deal in the first place, the heartwarming story about his future wife throwing apples over the fence at Buchenwald.

So, everybody who is familiar with Buchenwald must know right away that this was made up. Buchenwald was not a place were children would get apples (let alone in the winter of 1944/1945). It was a very brutal camp for political prisoners, mainly Communists, Social Democrats and Union leaders, but also priests, Jehova's Witnesses, homosexuals and POWs, mainly from Tchechoslovakia, Poland, France and the Soviet Union, and also Gipsys. More than 50.000 died of hunger, cold, typhus, forced labor, or they were shot when they try to escape.

Among the prisoners were Leon Blum, the former French chancellor, also Ernst Heilmann, the head of the Democratic party in the Prussian government, who was killed, as well as Ernst Thälmann, the head of the Communist Party of Germany. He was killed as well.

Only a few of the inmates were Jewish, except for 1945, when Jews were brought there from Auschwitz. And I doubt there were a lot of children.

http://www.buchenwald.de/index_cten.html

So, why am I not outraged? Because, in the end, Rosenblat was a victim of an attitude created by the publishing industry as well as Hollywood: Confuse fact and fiction! Pretty much most stories sold to you as "based on a true story" are fake, for the simple reason that real life does not make good stories in terms of Hollywood storytelling, i.e. the suspense and the happy ending and the good/bad-guys formula. Oddly enough, the same publishers that want fiction to be true force non-fiction writers to include narrative elements.

Of course he could have sold that story as fiction, but in this case, the publisher would not have bought it. The problem is the publishing industry, not the Rosenblats. So, lets try to untangle fiction and non-fiction and just label everything correctly. It would be a great step towards reclaiming the truth.

For Whom The Shoe Shills

By Saul Bloodworth

By coincidence, the Tom Cruise movie Valkyrie started the same week than the Iraqi journalist Muntader al-Zaidi threw his shoes, trying to hit George W. Bush. A plot to kill Hitler is not exactly the same thing than showing contempt for the Commander in Chief. After the plot to kill Hitler failed, about 5000 people were executed. Al-Zaidi is still alive. But he is in jail, he was reportedly tortured and nobody knows what will happen to him. His only defense is the Arab Street, at this point.

The chattering classes can't get enough of it. The video is on every channel. Readers of HuffPo are calling on Americans to send their old shoes to the White House. You can replay the shoe insult, or utter an opinion about it where ever you feel like it.

So, here is the point: For eight years, not one single American has mustered enough courage to throw a shoe, or an egg, or a tomato at Bush. So, I'm not saying I would have dared if I had the chance. Probably not. I'm not pretending I'm a hero.

However, isn't this week an opportunity to shut up for a while, stop chattering, and give it some thought if you would have dared to rise your hand against a real dictator? Or, at least, against someone who does, after all, allow Americans due process (just not foreigners)? Just a little bit more modesty right now would be nice. There will be more than enough time next year to show off easy Anti-Fascism.

And while I'm at it, the Unites States is still occupying Iraq. So, if Al-Zaidi gets killed in jail, that will be an American responsibility. The Obama magic will not gloss over it.