Bride of Chucky

by Saul Bloodworth

Now to something completely different: What can be done about Proposition 8? What outrages me most, by the way, is that a church based in Utah can influence legislation in California. This is not how direct Democracy was supposed to work. If a Korean-based church would pour money into an anti-gay campaign, would we put up with it? Surely not.

Anyway, the damage is done, now lets think about revenge. I've given that some thought, the first idea I had was: Introduce a Proposition that outlaws the Mormon Church in California. Ok, that's probably not doable, constitution-wise. So, here is another idea: What about a Proposition that does away with their tax advantages, on the basis that the Mormons are behaving like a political group and not like a religious affiliation?

A better idea, but still, legally difficult. Then I came up with a real idea: Lets call for a Proposition that bans Mormons - and everybody else of course, for that matter — from marrying child brides younger than 14, especially for men who are already married. This is a clear-cut non-discriminating goal everybody can agree on.

Yes, I know what you are about to say: Marrying child brides is already illegal in California, and elsewhere, and the Mormons have officially banned it. So what? This is about Public Relations. Lets have a campaign, fueled by gay money, to make sure that everybody knows we are against that evil practice of marrying child brides which surely still exists among Mormons, because why else would we run a campaign against it?

For legal reasons, it would probably make sense to throw something in that constitutes new legislation, such as: Law enforcement should be obliged to check on people who are suspect of marrying child brides for religious reasons, i. e. Mormons, like, once a year. That should do it.

If the Mormons want to have an ugly public fight about sex, they can have it